So every time you parents nag your wee ones to use an anti-bacterial body wash, non-GMO dish soup, dy-free laundry detergent, or spray-on tan you are putting your young ones closer to death. Good job!
But of course we have the solution. 100% Pure Vitamin Dirt, filled with every conceivable yucky bacterial bug you can find in a sandbox or school lunch potluck. Just one Vitamin Dirt capsule with breakfast, lunch and dinner will pump up your young one’s immune system so you can rest assured that AIDS won’t faze your son and breast cancer will find some other young woman’s tits, instead of your precious daughter. Isn’t that worth $19.99 a jar?