Coma Air — the world’s quietest airline

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Customer: Hi, I’d like a return ticket to Paris.

Airline sales agent: Certainly, however, I am required to disclose there are extra charges for luggage.

Customer: Yeah, figured there might be.

Sales agent: Did I say luggage? I meant legroom. And meals. And beverages, though water is complimentary with a purchase from our duty free cart, if you pay with hard currency, like the Renminbi.

Customer: Anything else?

Sales agent: I can book you on a December 11 flight leaving at –

Customer: It’s only June. I’d like to leave before that!

Sales agent: I’m sorry, sir, but due to a restructuring many of our aircraft have been switched over to our sister airline, Coma Air.

Customer: Coma wha–?

Sales agent: It is a new and improved version of a no-frills airline. You get a bed –

Customer: A bed? Wow, what’s the catch?

Sales agent: Well, there’s no television screen, but you won’t even notice it because you will be in… in our care.

Customer: Eh?

Sales agent: We induce comas into all our passengers. You ’sleep’ the entire journey. We wake you when we land. Side effects include very dangerous–

Customer: That’s mental, who would do such a thing?

Sales agent: Well, there are other benefits. For example, you could enjoy a two-for-one liposuction special of your double chin on your way to Paris. And if there is a plane crash you won’t even notice. Painless death!

Customer: But what if I have to change airplanes?

Sales agent: We only offer non-stop service now due to a few… um, things being misplaced.

Customer: You misplaced some people?

Sales agent: Our lawyers are trying to determine whether they could be classified as ‘people’. Did I mention the price includes 400 reward points that can be used for souvenirs at the Louvre?

Customer: Sold!