Still fat? Try the Paris Hilton diet

Fat people will do anything to lose weight.  As long as it does not involve eating less food, that is. Don’t believe us? Check out the parasitic worm diet which has become the latest weight-loss trend in Hong Kong. Kirstie Alley knows all about it — she has built her career on getting fat and losing the weight, then flogging off her experiences on TV shows (rumour has it she her latest pitch is called “My Favorite Tapeworm”).

So we wondered: With millions of fad diets in the world, why are obese people still getting obesier? Actually, there’s a better question: With millions of people desperate to lose weight, why haven’t we figured out a way to make money off them? By the way, you can buy your own slimming tapeworms for $2,000 at WormTherapy.com (no really, just our luck. We waste precious brain cells making shit like this up only for us to learn someone is really doing it. Satire just can’t keep up!)

CrackDiet
If nothing else works you can always smoke a pile of crack and drop 50 pounds in 10 days